. . .upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:18
Page updated 15 September 2016
Types of Abuse
The 'Narcissistic' Personality
There exist no sound or sane view for their hatred. The hatred and the malice demonstrated by the narc toward his victim is utterly baseless, utterly irrational, and totally unjustifiable. They hate without cause. They hate without reason. Why is this? Well, the malignant narc that hated you for no reason is a spiritually darkened human being. The malignant narcissist that hated you for no rational cause is a spiritually blind human being. He or she became spiritually darkened by choice. He or she became spiritually blind by choice. Their darkness is no accident. Their darkness is the result of the moral choices that they made. -smakintosh, A Hatred without Cause - The Saga of the Malignant Narcissist-
Narcissists cut a wide, swashbuckling figure through the world. At one end of the self-loving spectrum is the charismatic leader with an excess of charm, whose only vice may be his or her inflated amour-propre. At the far end of the spectrum reside individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, whose grandiosity soars to such heights that they are manipulative and easily angered, especially when they don't receive the attention they consider their birthright. Here's how to figure out whether the big talker in your office really believes his own hype.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.
Narcissists tend to have high self-esteem. However, narcissism is not the same thing as self-esteem; people who have high self-esteem are often humble, whereas narcissists rarely are. It was once thought that narcissists have high self-esteem on the surface, but deep down they are insecure. However, the latest evidence indicates that narcissists are actually secure or grandiose at both levels. Onlookers may infer that insecurity is there because narcissists tend to be defensive when their self-esteem is threatened (e.g., being ridiculed); narcissists can be aggressive. The sometimes dangerous lifestyle may more generally reflect sensation-seeking or impulsivity (e.g., risky sex, bold financial decisions).
Reacts to criticism with anger, shame or humiliation
Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
Exaggerates own importance
Exaggerates achievements and talents
Entertains unrealistic fantasies about success, power, beauty, intelligence or romance
Has unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment
Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others