Page Suggestions: Bible Facts

What does the BIBLE say about Submission in Marriage

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If we are submitted unto the Lord and our husband is requiring things of us that we feel are not of the Lord, we should take the matter to the Lord and ask for His wisdom on how to deal with it. We should pray for our husbands and ask the Lord to speak to them if they are in the wrong. However, we should also be willing to be corrected if we are in the wrong. We should ask the Holy Spirit to resolve the conflict and to deal with the party who is wrong, and both should be willing to change an opinion.

The Holy Spirit generally will not ask a woman to do something that would cause her to disobey her husband and thereby cause conflict in her home. Most women who have a problem submitting to their husbands have the same problem submitting to the Lord. Our relationship with the Lord will reflect in our attitudes with not only our husbands and children, but with all others as well. If we please the Lord and obey Him, we will find we will have favor with the people in our lives. And, to those who do not understand us and spitefully use us, we shall have God's grace to bear their persecution and God's love toward them to forgive them.

There are several accounts in the Word of God that plainly teach submission to God over submission to husbands. One familiar story is that of Mary, the mother of Christ (Luke 1:26-38; Matthew 1:18-25(verse 18) Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

(verse 19) Then Joseph her husband, being a just [man], and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

(verse 20) But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

(verse 21) And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

(verse 22) Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

(verse 23) Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

(verse 24) Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

(verse 25) And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.Matthew 1 verses 18-25). She yielded to what God asked her to do without asking Joseph what he thought about it. In fact, he wanted to put her away when he found out she was pregnant. Surely Mary tried to explain to Joseph that this child was conceived by the Holy Ghost, but he could not receive her explanation until the Lord sent an angel to confirm to him that she indeed had heard the Lord. This is a case where a woman submitted to God first, and then the Lord dealt with her husband showing him she had heard the Lord.

All through the Bible we find accounts of God speaking to women before speaking to their husbands. The Apostle Peter speaks of Sarah as a model wife in 1 Peter 3:5-6,

Genesis 16:5-6(verse 5) And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong [be] upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.

(verse 6) But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid [is] in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.Genesis 16 verses 5-6 gives us another side of the picture, for we have here an account of a disagreement between Sarah and Abraham. On this occasion, Abraham conceded and allowed Sarah to have her way. We notice that God justified her for this in Genesis 21:10-12 when the question came up again. God told Abraham to obey Sarah:

When the Scripture speaks of wives obeying and submitting to their husbands, it cannot mean that every wife must obey her husband always in everything. She, as well as he, is responsible to obey what the Spirit gives each to do. The husband does not lead the wife into all truth since this is the work of the Holy Spirit. This does not license a wife who has a domineering spirit to do anything she wants simply because she says she is only subject to the Lord. The Lord is displeased with any person who tries to dominate and rule another's life, whether that person be male or female. There is nothing worse than a domineering, nagging wife. Proverbs 21:9 expresses it this way,

Some women preachers have become very overbearing and bossy; thus it is very distasteful to hear them preach. It is not necessarily what they are preaching that is wrong, but their domineering and dictating spirits are wrong. This kind of spirit is not of the Lord, whether it be in a man or woman.

The main thing for women to do in regard to following and obeying what they feel the Lord is telling them to do is to be sure it is the Lord. If it is the Lord, He will justify them as He did Sarah and other women of the Bible. If it is not the Lord, they will create for themselves a lot of problems, not only with their husbands, but with others as well.

Women who are single are not under any earthly man's headship since they do not have a flesh relationship with a man. Their head is Jesus Christ and it is this union to which they are subject.

Most Christian women experience two marriages. They are married to Christ and they are married to their husbands. The first is a spiritual marriage, the other an earthly or fleshly marriage. They are to be obedient to both. If they obey their spiritual head, they will not be disobeying their physical head, even if it is against what their husbands command because God will deal with their husbands. Some women are unequally yoked and have difficulty submitting to the desires of their ungodly husbands. They are to obey them as long as it does not mean disobedience to Christ. They are not to obey them if it would be morally or spiritually wrong.

A Biblical account of this can be found in 1 Samuel 25:4-42. Abigail was a woman who knew God. She was the wife of Nabal, an ungodly husband. She realized her husband's refusal to give gifts unto David's men endangered her whole household. On her own initiative she took food and rode to meet David. She was a wise woman--by disobeying her husband, she saved his life, for David would have slain him. She saved not only her husband's life, but also her own and her household's lives and possessions. She also found favor with David and with God. Her wicked husband Nabal died shortly after this as his heart was cold toward God. He was a son of Belial (another name for Satan).