Page Suggestions: Victory Over Anger, Bible Facts

The Eight Anchors of Anger

Here are the main reasons most of us experience anger.

1) The Anchor of Unforgiveness and Unbroken Judgments

You must become honest about your anger and be willing to deal with it. Then search for the root causes of the anger. Unforgiveness and unbroken judgments on people in our past cause anger today. The more people we resent and judge, the more angry and hostile we become. Even if the people we have not forgiven are outside of our immediate family and are far into our past, the fruit of unforgiveness will still be anger in the present. That anger will effect those we love in a negative way. Forgiveness is essential, not only in receiving the forgiveness of God, but also in receiving freedom from its harsh consequences.

Once you can articulate the reasons for your anger, you need to submit it to the Holy Spirit. Prayerfully, give your anger to God, asking Him to help you express it and discover the feelings it may be masking. Also, repent of any sinful behavior or bitterness your anger may have caused.

2) The Anchor of Loss and Hurt

One of the stages of grief that people almost always go through when they lose a loved one is anger. The closer the loved one was to us, the more intense our anger can be. We need to understand that this anchor of anger is normal. Anger related to loss or hurt is something normal and healthy people feel. It only becomes negative when one never resolves his loss or hurt.

It is common for people who lose a loved one to become angry at the one who died. Feelings of loss, abandonment, and loneliness fuel this anger. Anger is even more intense and resolution more difficult if the death resulted from smoking,other health abuse, or suicide. Even if one didn't lose a loved one through death, the loss of a relationship through rejection, betrayal, or divorce still cause feelings of anger.

It is also common to become angry at God. "Why did you allow this to happen?" is the main question that streams from the wounded heart to God. Though this person may realize how wrong his anger is, it is still present. We don't need to feel bad about the emotion, we simply need to learn to be honest about it and bring it to God.

The answer to being free from the anchor of anger caused by loss or hurt is to RESOLVE IT. If we have lost loved ones through death, we must reconcile the issue by surrendering them into the hands of God. Thanking God for the time He gave them to us, we trust God with their eternity and ours. Without surrendering our loss into God's hands and resolving our emotions through trust, we will forever be tortured by anger and a variety of confused and unpredictible emotions.

This principle is true regardless of the manner in which we manifest hurt. Whether our anger is directed toward parents, marital partners, friends, or God, we must come to the point where we can trust God to resolve the situation in us and them. This step is critical in finding freedom. Faith in God's love and sovereign power is the key to finding the resolve we need to be able to let go and go on.

3) The Anchor of Fear

Sometimes anger is caused by what we fear. If we fear failure, rejection, sickness, death, or something else, we will almost always become angry at the objects we believe are bringing about the things we fear. I experienced this fear when I went into the ministry. Without admitting it, I was very fearful of failing. After spending ten to twelve hours a day trying to succeed at work, I would come home to an angry wife.

Rather than being sympathetic with my zealous pursuit of success, Karen was annoyed that my heart wasn't turned toward her or my children the way it should be. The more Karen resisted my attempts to be successful by overworking, the angrier I became at her. Without her realizing it then, I feared that Karen's resistance would keep me from working as much as I should, which would result in failure. Because I feared it so much, I became angry at Karen or anyone else who resisted my success.

Once again, the answer for fear is trust in God. I had to come to a point where I trusted God for my success and stopped becoming angry at people. Once I did that, I was able to turn my heart toward home the way I should have, trusting God with my success. We must also trust God with our health, our future, our finances, and every other issue in our lives.

4) The Anchor of Ignorance

I know a man who can climb mountains and skydive without a trace of fear. However, he is terrified of women. The reason for his fear is ignorance. Because as he grew up, he was not instructed in how to understand women, his ignorance fueled several bad experiences. As a result, this man refuses to relate to women beyond the most superficial level, and he feels a great deal of anger related to women in general.

I feel the same way about swimming in the ocean. I've visited the ocean only a dozen times in my life. I am ignorant about what to do or what to expect, which produces fear in me. Though I feel that way, Jacques Cousteau could be swimming next to me in the ocean having a great time. The difference between us is knowledge. After a lifetime of training, he knows every species of "critter" around him and what they can and cannot do to him. He is familiar with the nature of the ocean currents and how to deal with them. The result is calm and confidence. However, the same sharks he "respects," I "hate" and "fear."

In an atmosphere of ignorance, we can become angry, prejudiced, unreasonable people. By increasing his knowledge of the female gender, his ignorance could be turned to respect and love. Though studying sharks "up and close and personal" is not my life's goal, the same principle holds true.

When we have a chronic anger in our lives, one of the questions we need to ask ourselves is whether our anger is fueled by ignorance. DO WE REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT IS CAUSING OUR FRUSTRATIONS? If we made a concerted effort to become knowledgeable, would it change our demeanor? If we will admit our ignorance and SEEK KNOWLEDGE as we honestly answer these questions, the result will be less anger and more peace, internally and externally.

5) The Anchor of Spiritual Harassment

Early in our marriage, Karen and I went through a three day period fighting about everything. At the end of the third day, Karen asked me if we were going to our weekly Bible study. I told her she could go if she wanted, but I wasn't going.

When Karen came home that night she urgently related this story. At Bible study, the woman who headed up the group asked Karen where I was. Karen admitted to her that we were fighting. This lady, in response to Karen's information, related a vision God had given her earlier that day concerning our home. In her mind, she saw a LION ROARING into our living room; he was seeking to cause confusion between Karen and me. She believed that the three days of fighting were the result of SPIRITUAL HARASSMENT FROM DEMONIC FORCES. We prayed immediately. This was the first time we had ever confronted the realm of darkness. I could feel an instantaneous and lasting difference in the atmosphere of our home. The days that followed were nothing like the days preceding our prayer.