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What does the BIBLE say about Cohabitation, Living Together

They Think They Can Fool God

I was in an airport last week and noticed on a magazine cover that a high profile celebrity couple was getting married. Of course, they have already been living together for several years and have a child together. Therefore, the wedding is a little anti-climactic, but nevertheless represents a modern mentality for a growing number of people. Many today see pre-marital sex and living together as "intimate try-outs" to see if they are compatible enough for marriage.

Even though it might make sense to some that cohabitation and pre-marital sex would enhance one's ability to measure his or her compatibility with another person, it doesn't. In fact, it greatly increases your chance of pain before marriage and problems afterwards. Those who have cohabitated before marriage have a significantly higher rate of divorce than those who haven't. So why doesn't it work?

First of all, there is no real commitment. The spirit of pre-marital sex and cohabitation is primarily driven by selfishness and the desire for instant gratification. Women especially need to realize the dangers of these traits in their potential husbands. Even though most women give sex to a man or live with him before marriage in order to please him and take the relationship to a "higher" level, men have different motives.

In cohabitation, men desire it because they get the benefits of marriage without commitment. Even if marriage is possible in the future, they simply try to see how well their live-in lover will take care of them before they will commit. Since that is the spirit that led them to the altar, even their commitment at the altar means little. Once they find out it's not all about them, they are gone in a majority of cases. You just can't build a marriage on the shifting sand of selfish hearts. You also can't bring children into that kind of relationship with the confidence that they will stay around to take care of them.

This leads us to our next problem. It is simple, yet has a profound impact later in the relationship. It is the fact that the purpose of dating before marriage is to test a person's character as well as to develop the skills of the relationship without sex. Even though it might seem archaic to people in our day, there was a day when pre-marital sex and cohabitation were thought of as sins and spoken of in scandalous terms.

The reason wasn't because people of that day were not as enlightened as the Hollywood elite of our day who have thrown away traditional morality. The reason was because they were in fact more enlightened. They knew that a relationship based primarily on attraction, convenience or selfishness was doomed to failure. They understood the harsh reality that every marriage will experience difficult times.

Many a pretty bride and handsome groom have strolled down the aisle only to experience heartache and broken dreams soon thereafter. The problem wasn't a lack of love, sexual chemistry or potential. The problems were simply a lack of character and the commitment necessary to survive the inevitable challenges of married life.

The next time you see one of those beautiful celebrity couples getting married after living together and having a baby or two, don't buy it.They aren't fooling God or anyone who really knows anything about marriage. Their lack of regard for God or traditional morality doesn't make them something to be admired. It makes them something to be pitied because they will pay a high price for their selfishness and lack of commitment. I'm not saying this because I don't care for them or feel like I am better than them. I'm saying it because it's true.

Godly character and commitment always precede success in marriage. No couple is the exception.